my brain feels like a bowl of soggy froot loops
and the saline nasal spray makes everything smell like dirty band-aids
i want to throw up my brains, i want to vomit my brains
oh no, the dog is licking the floor again
and i've been constipated for months
and i can't sit down and my vision keeps changing
and i'm having difficulty swallowing
and i can't feel my arms when i wake up
and i need to keep moving
and everything is tingling
and i'm hearing voices
and i have no emotions that are my own
and nothing keeps me entertained
i have to chew my food equally on both sides of my mouth
and i count my teeth with my tongue
twenty times clockwise
and 20 times counter-clockwise
until it gives me a headache
when i cut an apple into pieces
they have to be perfectly aligned to each other in a fixed position
then i eat them numerically and i use my whole head to chew
and i hear voices in the other room
and if one of my ears gets touched
i absolutely have to have the other ear touched
just so it evens out
if it evens out, i'm fine.. and then it's like nothing ever happened
when i clip my nails that entire day is a write-off, just forget about it
if i see a crumb on the carpet i can't concentrate on the tv
when i watch csi, i continually remind myself that i'm watching csi
if i'm in the mall, or anywhere that the flooring is tiled
i make sure i walk in each square and not touch the lines
if i step on a line i get paranoid
and i have to go back and start all over again
i have to count each pixel, i clean the mouse, i can't stand itunes
i pull my hairs out one-by-one