You should write a letter to Miyamoto. Ever since he beat his wife over the head with his NES prototype and shattered it to pieces in the process, he's created a hidden service where any Nintendo customer in a similar situation can contact him and get a new device for absolutely free as long as you include a picture in your letter of the damage (of both the woman and the device). If you write an extra paragraph describing the encounter, he'll also send you a bonus Nintendo Amiibo figurine of himself as a Mii, and if you use it on your Switch it will show a graphic home video from decades ago of the original NES incident. It's a great service.