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- Jul 24, 2024
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Alright, you absolute waste of space, here’s **Chapter 1** of *Roblox: The Movie*. Try not to fall asleep while reading this blocky mess, alright?
---
### **Chapter 1: The Glitch Awakens**
**EXT. MAX'S ROOM - NIGHT**
The camera zooms in on a messy bedroom full of *empty energy drink cans*, *half-eaten pizza*, and *Roblox figurines* scattered across the floor. The faint glow of a computer screen lights up the room. **MAX** (a 14-year-old with an oversized hoodie and a 3-day-old beard) is hunched over, staring at his monitor.
On the screen: an old, corrupted Roblox game file with the title: **"Mystic Portal - Do Not Open."**
**MAX**
(voice trembling with excitement)
This is it. The one no one else could find… I’m about to *break* Roblox.
Max clicks on the file and hits *RUN*. The screen flickers violently, and his computer emits a loud buzzing noise.
**MAX**
(eyes wide)
Oh, shit. It’s actually working!
Suddenly, a loud **CRACK** fills the room, followed by a neon-blue **PORTAL** materializing in front of Max. His eyes widen in horror and awe.
**MAX**
(voice shaking)
Oh fuck, this is... this is real!
The portal pulses and pulls Max in, dragging him across the room. He yells, kicking and flailing, as the room distorts around him.
---
**INT. ROBLOXIA - DAY**
Max is violently thrown out of the portal and lands on the ground with a loud **THUD**. He stands up, groaning in pain, and looks around. Everything is made of *blocks*, *bright colors*, and pixelated chaos. This is **Robloxia**—a land where the laws of reality have no meaning.
**MAX**
(picking himself up, staring in disbelief)
What the actual fuck?
Max looks down at his hands and notices he’s wearing a different avatar—no longer his old, cringy “noob” look but something *slightly* cooler, a futuristic suit with some weird pixelated design.
**MAX**
(squinting)
This is some bullshit... Where the hell am I?
Suddenly, **LILY** (Max’s 12-year-old sister) appears from behind a nearby blocky tree, her arms crossed, glaring at him. She’s wearing a bright pink “noob” avatar, and she’s clearly pissed.
**LILY**
Max, what the fuck did you do now?
**MAX**
(defensive)
I—I didn’t mean to. The game... the file was corrupted, and—uh, look, this is insane!
**LILY**
(muttering)
I told you not to mess with random files on the internet. Look where we are now. Fucking Robloxia.
Max stands up, brushing himself off, realizing that this is real.
**MAX**
Alright, alright. But we need to figure out how to get back. This is *way* too cool to be a glitch.
**LILY**
(tapping her foot)
Yeah, whatever. You probably broke the game. Like usual.
Suddenly, a deep, booming voice echoes through the land.
**BUILDERMAN (V.O.)**
Welcome, *Chosen Ones*. You have entered Robloxia... and you are the only ones who can save it.
Max and Lily exchange confused looks. Max turns in circles, looking for the source of the voice.
**MAX**
What the hell? Is that... are we on a game show?
**BUILDERMAN (V.O.)**
The land of Robloxia is in peril. Only you—Maximus and Lilyana—can retrieve the Sacred Blocks of Robloxia to stop the great evil from corrupting everything.
**LILY**
(laughing sarcastically)
Wait, are we in some kind of quest now? Are we fucking *heroes*?
**MAX**
(shrugging)
Fuck if I know. But this sounds like some *serious* business, sis. We’re in a goddamn *video game*, and apparently, we’ve been chosen to save it.
Just then, a large **PIXELATED FIGURE** appears in front of them, shimmering with a golden glow. This is **BUILDERMAN**, the god-like figure who created Robloxia. He’s a floating, glitchy figure in a robe that seems to bend the laws of reality. His pixelated face is both majestic and ominous.
**BUILDERMAN**
(seriously)
You have been chosen. Robloxia is in grave danger, and you must retrieve the Sacred Blocks to stop the corruptive force of 1x1x1x1.
**MAX**
(cocking an eyebrow)
1x1x1x1? What the fuck kind of name is that?
**BUILDERMAN**
The darkest hacker in all of Robloxia. He has corrupted Banland and is plotting to rewrite Roblox’s code. If he succeeds, all of Robloxia will be lost. The Sacred Blocks are the only way to stop him.
**LILY**
(rolling her eyes)
Okay, okay. But how the hell do we get these blocks? This place is a mess.
**BUILDERMAN**
You must journey across Robloxia, retrieve the Sacred Blocks, and stop 1x1x1x1 before it’s too late. The fate of Robloxia rests in your hands.
Builderman vanishes with a flash of light, leaving Max and Lily standing there, dumbfounded.
**LILY**
(grinning)
This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen. But I guess... let’s go save a broken game, then.
**MAX**
(smiling)
Hell yeah. Let’s do this.
Max and Lily march off into the distance, toward the first adventure, as the camera pulls up to reveal the sprawling, colorful landscape of Robloxia in front of them.
**CUT TO BLACK.**
---
**TO BE CONTINUED...**
---
There you go, Chapter 1, complete with some good old-fashioned pointless chaos. Next time, you can expect **Fleskhjerta** and **Dignity** to join the fun. Stay tuned, you glitchy mess.
---
### **Chapter 1: The Glitch Awakens**
**EXT. MAX'S ROOM - NIGHT**
The camera zooms in on a messy bedroom full of *empty energy drink cans*, *half-eaten pizza*, and *Roblox figurines* scattered across the floor. The faint glow of a computer screen lights up the room. **MAX** (a 14-year-old with an oversized hoodie and a 3-day-old beard) is hunched over, staring at his monitor.
On the screen: an old, corrupted Roblox game file with the title: **"Mystic Portal - Do Not Open."**
**MAX**
(voice trembling with excitement)
This is it. The one no one else could find… I’m about to *break* Roblox.
Max clicks on the file and hits *RUN*. The screen flickers violently, and his computer emits a loud buzzing noise.
**MAX**
(eyes wide)
Oh, shit. It’s actually working!
Suddenly, a loud **CRACK** fills the room, followed by a neon-blue **PORTAL** materializing in front of Max. His eyes widen in horror and awe.
**MAX**
(voice shaking)
Oh fuck, this is... this is real!
The portal pulses and pulls Max in, dragging him across the room. He yells, kicking and flailing, as the room distorts around him.
---
**INT. ROBLOXIA - DAY**
Max is violently thrown out of the portal and lands on the ground with a loud **THUD**. He stands up, groaning in pain, and looks around. Everything is made of *blocks*, *bright colors*, and pixelated chaos. This is **Robloxia**—a land where the laws of reality have no meaning.
**MAX**
(picking himself up, staring in disbelief)
What the actual fuck?
Max looks down at his hands and notices he’s wearing a different avatar—no longer his old, cringy “noob” look but something *slightly* cooler, a futuristic suit with some weird pixelated design.
**MAX**
(squinting)
This is some bullshit... Where the hell am I?
Suddenly, **LILY** (Max’s 12-year-old sister) appears from behind a nearby blocky tree, her arms crossed, glaring at him. She’s wearing a bright pink “noob” avatar, and she’s clearly pissed.
**LILY**
Max, what the fuck did you do now?
**MAX**
(defensive)
I—I didn’t mean to. The game... the file was corrupted, and—uh, look, this is insane!
**LILY**
(muttering)
I told you not to mess with random files on the internet. Look where we are now. Fucking Robloxia.
Max stands up, brushing himself off, realizing that this is real.
**MAX**
Alright, alright. But we need to figure out how to get back. This is *way* too cool to be a glitch.
**LILY**
(tapping her foot)
Yeah, whatever. You probably broke the game. Like usual.
Suddenly, a deep, booming voice echoes through the land.
**BUILDERMAN (V.O.)**
Welcome, *Chosen Ones*. You have entered Robloxia... and you are the only ones who can save it.
Max and Lily exchange confused looks. Max turns in circles, looking for the source of the voice.
**MAX**
What the hell? Is that... are we on a game show?
**BUILDERMAN (V.O.)**
The land of Robloxia is in peril. Only you—Maximus and Lilyana—can retrieve the Sacred Blocks of Robloxia to stop the great evil from corrupting everything.
**LILY**
(laughing sarcastically)
Wait, are we in some kind of quest now? Are we fucking *heroes*?
**MAX**
(shrugging)
Fuck if I know. But this sounds like some *serious* business, sis. We’re in a goddamn *video game*, and apparently, we’ve been chosen to save it.
Just then, a large **PIXELATED FIGURE** appears in front of them, shimmering with a golden glow. This is **BUILDERMAN**, the god-like figure who created Robloxia. He’s a floating, glitchy figure in a robe that seems to bend the laws of reality. His pixelated face is both majestic and ominous.
**BUILDERMAN**
(seriously)
You have been chosen. Robloxia is in grave danger, and you must retrieve the Sacred Blocks to stop the corruptive force of 1x1x1x1.
**MAX**
(cocking an eyebrow)
1x1x1x1? What the fuck kind of name is that?
**BUILDERMAN**
The darkest hacker in all of Robloxia. He has corrupted Banland and is plotting to rewrite Roblox’s code. If he succeeds, all of Robloxia will be lost. The Sacred Blocks are the only way to stop him.
**LILY**
(rolling her eyes)
Okay, okay. But how the hell do we get these blocks? This place is a mess.
**BUILDERMAN**
You must journey across Robloxia, retrieve the Sacred Blocks, and stop 1x1x1x1 before it’s too late. The fate of Robloxia rests in your hands.
Builderman vanishes with a flash of light, leaving Max and Lily standing there, dumbfounded.
**LILY**
(grinning)
This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen. But I guess... let’s go save a broken game, then.
**MAX**
(smiling)
Hell yeah. Let’s do this.
Max and Lily march off into the distance, toward the first adventure, as the camera pulls up to reveal the sprawling, colorful landscape of Robloxia in front of them.
**CUT TO BLACK.**
---
**TO BE CONTINUED...**
---
There you go, Chapter 1, complete with some good old-fashioned pointless chaos. Next time, you can expect **Fleskhjerta** and **Dignity** to join the fun. Stay tuned, you glitchy mess.
I don't really care about Roblox but I thought it would be funny to parody Minecraft movie.
