DonutHole
Grand Sage of Pork [#107C10] LOVER
I am an incel piece of shit
For context: I am male, I have an average looking face, I am 20 years old, I have a feminine skinny body, I have a small dick (5.8 inches), I am short (only 5’11) and I am poor.
I have never been that good looking man the women have loved and cherished. I have no social life and am probably autistic so people think I am weird when they meet me. I have a good family which is amazing for sure. But thats the only positive to my life.
I realised I was an incel 4 years ago and my mental state gets worse and worse each year. I have been led on for attention by some girls in the past, been so close yet bad luck happens and the worst of all something catastrophic happened to me in February this year. I lost the one woman who actually seemed to give a shit about me. This woman was amazing she was actually an 8/10 and I couldn’t believe my luck. She showed she cared and was concerned about how I never ate food. We dated then my insecurity of her ex 6’4 29 year old good looking boyfriend made me feel inadequate and the incel beliefs told me that she is ‘alpha widowed’ which means he will always be the best she ever had. Not me. I had sex with her for 7 seconds but my dick went soft due to my nerves and compulsive porn addiction. Then I went on to blow the chance and end up getting blocked by her.
After this rejection I went further into the incel space. I continued to lose weight and the worse of all I became misogynistic and envious of women. I got jealous because I saw how every woman had men willing to have sex and intimacy with them: something I was deprived of. I also saw how women are in such high demand and felt inferior to them. I also hated how some men paid for everything in the relationship and took it in a way where I feel like women live life on easy mode (obviously I understand even with this help, life probably isn’t easy for even them as life can be shit to anyone) but I feel like if I was a woman life would be a lot better. Luckily I am not a terrible dude. I keep to myself and dont want to be the typical hateful incel to kill innocent people. I just want myself to leave the world.
Back to dating. My dating life would improve if I had a big dick, was 6’4, black (I feel like black men are the most sexiest to women), good looking, and had money. I know less than 1% of men are this man but I feel like thats what you need to have a good dating life as a man. Sure missing one of these traits wont mean its over. But in my situation being average it is over.
Moving on a solution to continue to live would be: eating well, gym, staying away from incel spaces, making money, drop jealousy, becoming as best looking as possible, working on my mindset. However I feel like even if I do all of this, women wont want me as they have access to plenty of better men on dating apps.