Blog of my very own

[Neutralplier]

I'm making a journal because im ive tried for a while to get into personal journals but ive lost interest in them over and over again
i guess it was the motivation to do it that was pushing me before
maybe starting an online blog will keep me engaged because someone could read my stuff and its a little more permanent
my stuff would probably be stream of consciousness stuff either way

 

[Neutralplier]

a reoccurring thought is about my friend
how would i introduce his quirks
hes a antisocial person who has anger issues and a history of depression
we play video games usually when i can (he almost always can)
the thing that always gets me about him is he says his life is terrible, or enough to derive the richness he vaguely talks about earning in comparison to other lives
i used to have daydreams about the comparisons of suffering, the volume of suffering. sometimes i would imagine an existence of a system where every person would face the same amount of suffering, and any intense suffering would be remedied by the opposite of happiness (i would think of a person being tortured being reversed by his death, to which he would compare death as release). sometimes i forfeited this idea and thought about Christ who suffered more than anyone else. i was ironically suffering because of my lack of suffering on the part of those who suffered more, i viewed as something pathetic because if you couldnt compare that suffering to others then you wouldnt be suffering in the first place. or maybe i would be suffering because i would see my suffering as the worst suffering to endure and suffer more because of that.

His dad recently passed away, im not sure its my place to talk about it for him, but from cancer. I've never had someone close to me die before. im not familiar with the grieving process or anything, but i imagined it to be the frustration of not being able to interact with someone again, like trying to reach out to something. What stood out to me was how i viewed his grieving. In almost a weeks time he seemed to recover completely like the whole ordeal puffed up into smoke. I wouldnt dare bring up his father or anything for fear and empathy that he had actually not forgotten his fathers passing away. I was thinking to judge him on his fathers death and almost in accusatory fashion, threaten him with disarming the memories and love his father gave him,but i realized i dont know how even i grieve, let alone how another person deals with his grief.

hes an online friend, i dont touch on his face or anything, maybe he was grieveing through his expressions or thoughts im not sure

I wonder who is going to die next, or when they'll die. I figure if im the one who dies i wont care after death, because what exactly does a dead person care about? but i turn my stomach in knots thinking about anyone i love dying, hell even growing old.

my suffering could be delayed, and the lackluster things i percieve now may be the the effect to the cause of my future. what the hell even is suffering but a subjective thing anyways

 

[Hydrosophy]

Shit everybody will read and care about.

 

[Neutralplier]

Shit everybody will read and care about.

idrc about anyone reading my shit just rlly the idea of some one who might read it
i forget a lot of my thoughts and it kind of sends me in to patterns of thinking the same shit

 

[Hydrosophy]

idrc about anyone reading my shit just rlly the idea of some one who might read it
i forget a lot of my thoughts and it kind of sends me in to patterns of thinking the same shit

I have a 100K word document I write all my random thoughts in kind of like a disorganised diary, same idea.

 

[Neutralplier]

I have a 100K word document I write all my random thoughts in kind of like a disorganised diary, same idea.

i tried doing that but i just dont have the fortitude to bring it up past day 3
i always start thinking its just stupid to do it

 

[Hydrosophy]

i tried doing that but i just dont have the fortitude to bring it up past day 3
i always start thinking its just stupid to do it

I only write in it when I feel like, it's not a necessary daily task or anything. It's really helpful and satisfying to clarify the sentiments and beliefs I've had my whole life and just put them into words, I think everyone should take it up.

 

[Neutralplier]

I only write in it when I feel like, it's not a necessary daily task or anything. It's really helpful and satisfying to clarify the sentiments and beliefs I've had my whole life and just put them into words, I think everyone should take it up.

agreed its cathartic when it works for you

 

[Neutralplier]

8/17: I started the day getting to my work place listening to some Kendrick Lamar. I was trying to listen to the lyrics of To Pimp A Butterfly more thoroughly, on my 3rd time listening to the album. I got to the place and went ham on some Peggle night challenges (6 down and 20 more to go). I also did some studying for my refresher course on taxes. I did some uber eats orders and went home at 6 pm. Got home and played some Monster Hunter world and started reading The Trial. My 'jakspression of the day

 

[Neutralplier]

8/17: I started the day getting to my work place listening to some Kendrick Lamar. I was trying to listen to the lyrics of To Pimp A Butterfly more thoroughly, on my 3rd time listening to the album. I got to the place and went ham on some Peggle night challenges (6 down and 20 more to go). I also did some studying for my refresher course on taxes. I did some uber eats orders and went home at 6 pm. Got home and played some Monster Hunter world and started reading The Trial. My 'jakspression of the day View attachment 30690

@GemersonLakeAndPalmer copying ur blog style because its kinda goated
Call that shit inspired

 

[GemersonLakeAndPalmer]

@GemersonLakeAndPalmer copying ur blog style because its kinda goated
Call that shit inspired

(You) forgot the year, it is supposed to be 8/17/2024: not just 8/17:

 

[GemersonLakeAndPalmer]

@Neutralplier Chop Chop Blog Boy!

 

[Neutralplier]

18/8/2024 A.D. (Modern times, yesterday), Seventh Month 15, 2024 (jia-chen), year of the Dragon:
woke up maybe around 10 AM. My mother sent my big bro on a run to get her goy slop (egg mcsausage). he came back with the wrong stuff so I had to drive over there and tell the wagie working at the counter to cook, grill, and prepare another different sandwich in exchange for the one I was holding (I had to take a few bites before returning it for the fun of it). Decided to also get the fam some corn syrup drinks which cost 10 bucks for some reason. Come back and the door to my room is on the floor. Turns out when my mother opened it, it snapped off the hinges. Went to home depot, got some hinges, and put it back in place, it works well enough I guess.

in the afternoon I was looking on Steam for any good specials and saw sleeping dogs was on sale for 2 bucks (I used to play the shit out of it on the xbox 360), so I bought it and played it for a bit. Afterward, I helped my brother clean up our yard of weeds for a few hours so that we could plant veggies, peppers, and some stuff for seasoning food. When we were talking about setting up a passport for me. Decided I was going to take my picture on Tuesday, so I'm going to get a haircut on Monday and also shave because those orange hairs on my beard are starting to grow n shit. after that i spent the night playing sleeping dogs and monster hunter.

My 'jakspression of the day
annoyed plier

 

[Neutralplier]

30/8/24: today woke up at 8am because i had to get some training done for my job. I never eat breakfest so its usually just a straight run to get my clothes on, brush my teeth, and put deoderant and cologne. Decided not to shave before i went cuz i was feeling lazy. I had to take the other car we had because the one i was supposed to take had a poked tire or some shit. While i was driving i took a wrong turn so i had to do a 6 minute detour . While i was driving i was putting on some persona 4 music. Got to the office and i was shown how to use the interface, doing quotes, and shit. I showed the guy my resume i did a week prior and he said it was good enough (or something). He says that my job is going to be doing phone calls and organizing client details, if i get the job, easy enough. For lunch he offered me some food and i obligied him. He got me a hamburger and frosty from wendies but he forgot the spoon so i had to eat the frosty like a dog. By the end of the day i was just doing videos for the sake of saying i did videos and doing a few example runs. Overall i was kinda annoyed today. Headed home with no problems and got some cheetos and played dying light for a bit before just falling asleep at 8pm

My 'jakspression of the day
Smug soyjak with his middle finger out

 

[Neutralplier]

found this fucking schizo on google images
thats literally a pair of fucking shoes omfg

 

[Neutralplier]

i think im going to only make blogs when the day is interesting, because most days arent

9/10/2024: 2nd day of training for my job. We switched locations and my dad decided to drive me over there since its in the way. I ate a costco hotdog from the day before and a bag of those goldfish snacks and we headed out at 9am. i was reading the novel version of flowers for algernon on my phone while we headed there. I arrived and the lady at the door greeted me in spanish, and i asked where the boss was. She told me in the back so i headed there. I sat down but he told me i have to ask for the wifi pass for my laptop. When I asked the lady she didnt seem to understand me until i specified it.

The training is less about understanding insurance (because i already need to know insurance to even pass the lisense exam) and more about the site i use to handle quotes. my training consists of me doing organiziations and tasks when i can and doing sales when im not, pretty basic shit. Since i already completed alot of the work on monday i was basically trying to keep myself entertained until i could leave. boss man tried handing me a phone so i could translate spanish to english and vice versa but i told him im not really good at spanish. I dont mind the training sessions though because they're paid. 2 hours before my allotted time was up, the boss decided he was going to call it a day since he needed to do some other work. he said to come in an hour earlier tomorrow to make up for the time. dad picked me up and we headed home. I played some monster hunter and killed furious rajang finally which was dope. Was feeling super drained after trying to keep entertained during the training so i slept at 10pm over my usual midnight sleep schedule.

My 'jakspression of the day
hypnoplier

 

[Xiuhcoyotl]

bloGOD

 

[Neutralplier]

9/14/2024: on this day was my mothers birthday. I woke up around 9 Am after playing the new P3R dlc the night prior. i went 50/50 with my brother on some filter so i have to pay 150$ which sucks. I started my day by sitting at my computer looking for computer builds when i save up some money. I was browsing the 'hlog and i saw malzy left so that made me a little sad (he made some of the worst posts ever istg but nigga was chill with me). Asked my mom what she wanted to do and she said just eat o algo. My bro comes in around 11am talking about going to the huntington, but my mom has a hissy fit and we have to convince her for a few hours to get ready to go. We get there late and we make a beeline to enter. after buying the tickets we each wanted to head to different places; My brother wanted to go to the gardens, and i wanted to visit the art galleries. We headed first to the chinese garden which looks completely beautiful and there were even some turtles sunbathing.


While i enjoyed the plants like the lotus seeds and the koi, i really enjoyed the musuem most
Theres 2 musuems (american art and European art), but i only got to visit one with the amount of time we had. I went to the european musuem first because it sounded more interesting to me and my bro. The musuem was filled with mostly renaissance paintings, statues, and furniture. Of course, it had more modern and ancient art, but i think the renaissance was the peak of art, when it was detail orientated. I thought however it was out of place when they put a modern portrait, of a black man in casual wear (sneakers, shorts, even a fucking apple watch) , in the midst of several portraits of 17th century portraits. I liked the paintings and art the most when they revolved around Christ, or christianity. Im going to go some day soon to see the american gallery, because i want i have a soft spot for landscapes, which alot of american art is concerned of. After the huntington trip, we ate some food and i chilled at home. what a nice day

My 'jakspression of the day
beautiful gape

 

[Neutralplier]

Boring ahh first day of work

 

[GemersonLakeAndPalmer]

Boring ahh first day of work

MOOOOOODS! ADD A ZOOMER REACT NOOOOOOOW!