soyjak.blog

Here's some of the books I've tried to read.

Have you considered trying to read something a bit lighter and engaging, perhaps a fiction novel?

My dad especially barely buys any food when he goes to the store so I run out and just gorge on snacks. I literally can't ween off it because they watch me as I take them. I don't know how many calories I eat a day

Yeah I tried reading the Michael Vey series and enjoyed it but I started entertaining that it was a metaphor for real life and got weirdly paranoid as stupid as that sounds

Your parents are disgusting. It is no wonder you are like this. Have you considered fasting instead of eating snacks? Have you considered rationing your food? Instead of actually swallowing them, could you pretend to actually swallow them instead? Have you tried tracking your calories?

You were paranoid it was a metaphor for real life? When you say paranoid, do you know the difference between anxiety and paranoia?

I don't know. Everything feels so futile. I can't pretend to swallow them because they're too high of a dose and will give me unbearable withdrawal effects

No I mean I was like, "what if the electric children are a metaphor for GATE children and we're all being monitored to be tortured one day"

When you say everything feels so futile, what does that have to do with what I asked? Is that in relation into not fasting? Have you ever heard of a hunger strike? Have you considered that staying on them might be worse than the temporary withdrawal effects? Have your parents always been this awful?

Are you a GATE child?

I don't get what not being fat will do. It's pointless, everything is. They'll notice the withdrawal and make me take them anyway. They're awful and have always been. There's nothing I can do

I don't think so because I actually got rejected for "behavioral problems" but I may still be wrapped in it somehow.

So you don't want to be healthy? Can you describe the withdrawal effects? Do you go to college? Why do you feel like there is nothing you can do?

I mean I do in theory but in practice it's like "I'm not fat anymore. Now what?"
I dropped out because I didn't see the point either.
There's nothing I can do because my parents always fucking sabotage me with the stupid meds

Have you ever talked to your parents about your concerns? Given that you don't like your parents, why would you not go to college and try to get a dorm room there? Have you considered that being fat is disgusting and contributes to your AAP? Do you talk about your parents often?

idk my mom is like "UGHH [name] I'm trying my best! I'm sorry you have a severe mental illness but nobody in this world gives a shit about you other than your family"
I can't go to college anymore because I have 0 willpower to do anything. I don't think my AAP is related. I sometimes talk to my parents but it's nothing substantial

Haven't you thought that college is your only way out? Doesn't that give you some determination?

I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't get it. Something weird is going on.

Something weird is going on right now, like physically? Can you elaborate on your statements? They confuse me.

I don't know. I'm being tampered with by weird forces but I can't prove it. I can't prove anything.