Talk Like a Normie from 2050

For as much as in my paradoxes of defense I have admonished men to take heed of safe teachers of defense, yet once again in these my brief instructions I do the like, because divers have written books treating the noble science of defense, wherein they rather teach offense than defense, rather showing men thereby how to be slain than to defend themselves from the danger of their enemies, as we may daily see to the great grief and overthrow of many brave gentlemen and gallant of our ever victorious nation of great Britain, and therefor for the great love and care that I have for the well doing and the preservation of my countrymen, seeing their daily ruins and utter overthrow of divers gallant gent and others which trust only to that imperfect fight of that rapier, these although they daily see their own overthrows and slaughter thereby, yet because they are trained up therein, they think and do fully persuade themselves that there is no fight so excellent and where as amongst divers other their opinions that leadeth them to this errors one of that chiefest is, because there be so many slain with these weapons and therefor they hold them so excellent, but these things do chiefly happen, first because their fight is imperfect for that they use neither the perfect grounds of true fight, neither yet the four governors without which no man can fight safe, neither do they use such other rules which are required in the right use of perfect defense, and also their weapons for the most part being of an imperfect length, must of necessity make an imperfect defense because they cannot use them in due time and place, for had these valorous minded men the right perfection of the true fight with the short sword, and also of other weapons of perfect length, I know that men would come safer out of the field from such bloody bankets and that such would be their perfections herein, that it would save many 100 men’s lives. But how should men learn perfection out of such rules as are nothing else but very imperfection itself. And as it is not fit for a man which desireth the clear light of the day to go down into the bottom of a deep and dark dungeon, believing to find it there, so is it as impossible for men to find the perfect knowledge of this noble science where as in all their teachings every thing is attempted and acted upon imperfect rules, for there is but one truth in all things, which I wish very heartily were taught and practiced here amongst us, and that those imperfect and murderous kind of false fights might be by them abolished. Leave now to quaf and gull any longer of that filthy brinish puddle, seeing you may now drink of that fresh and clear spring.
 
For as much as in my paradoxes of defense I have admonished men to take heed of safe teachers of defense, yet once again in these my brief instructions I do the like, because divers have written books treating the noble science of defense, wherein they rather teach offense than defense, rather showing men thereby how to be slain than to defend themselves from the danger of their enemies, as we may daily see to the great grief and overthrow of many brave gentlemen and gallant of our ever victorious nation of great Britain, and therefor for the great love and care that I have for the well doing and the preservation of my countrymen, seeing their daily ruins and utter overthrow of divers gallant gent and others which trust only to that imperfect fight of that ***ier, these although they daily see their own overthrows and slaughter thereby, yet because they are trained up therein, they think and do fully persuade themselves that there is no fight so excellent and where as amongst divers other their opinions that leadeth them to this errors one of that chiefest is, because there be so many slain with these weapons and therefor they hold them so excellent, but these things do chiefly happen, first because their fight is imperfect for that they use neither the perfect grounds of true fight, neither yet the four governors without which no man can fight safe, neither do they use such other rules which are required in the right use of perfect defense, and also their weapons for the most part being of an imperfect length, must of necessity make an imperfect defense because they cannot use them in due time and place, for had these valorous minded men the right perfection of the true fight with the short sword, and also of other weapons of perfect length, I know that men would come safer out of the field from such bloody bankets and that such would be their perfections herein, that it would save many 100 men’s lives. But how should men learn perfection out of such rules as are nothing else but very imperfection itself. And as it is not fit for a man which desireth the clear light of the day to go down into the bottom of a deep and dark dungeon, believing to find it there, so is it as impossible for men to find the perfect knowledge of this noble science where as in all their teachings every thing is attempted and acted upon imperfect rules, for there is but one truth in all things, which I wish very heartily were taught and practiced here amongst us, and that those imperfect and murderous kind of false fights might be by them abolished. Leave now to quaf and gull any longer of that filthy brinish puddle, seeing you may now drink of that fresh and clear spring.
DAUR WAT DIS GOL! TALK NAZEE.
 
bruh ts is so corny nga.. how bout you go touch sum grass..🤦‍♂️
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