NT
Decommissioned
>This is the first part in what I hope to be a multiple-part series: Nonsensical Pop Lyrics.
>The first nonsensical pop lyric comes from a song by Timbaland, Nelly Furtado, and Justin Timberlake cerebrally entitled “Give it to me.” The lyric in question is “sung” by Timbaland, and goes a little something like, “I’m respected from Californ.i.a. way down to Japan.”
>There is so much wrong and illogical about this one little line. It really is a testament to the fact that most pop lyrics are only included in songs because they rhyme. They have no bearing on the actual “story” or “message”, and provide nothing for the “meaning” of the song. Then again, I guess it would be hard to have a lyric comment on the story or meaning of a song if it contains neither. Oh, well.
>Back to the wondrous lyric, “I’m respected from Californ.i.a. way down to Japan.” My first complaint about this lyric is exceptionally significant because the proper wording would not change the beat or rhyme scheme.
>My problem is with the word “down.” Japan is not “down” from California. It’s especially not, “way down.” If anything, it’s across from Japan. The following map, courtesy of Google Maps will illustrate (click on thumbnail to view.)
>As you can see, Japan and California are relatively latitudally equal. I suppose if one were to go from the northern most tip of California to the southern most island of Japan, there might be some “downward” direction. But still, I believe the across direction, or west direction would take precedence over the down direction.
>It would be like saying you are going down to Chicago from New York. The lateral movement is far more pronounced, and thus, people say they are going over to Chicago.
>My second complaint with the lyric I believe really illustrates the inherent retardednessity of this line. According to Timbaland, he is respected from California to Japan. As far as I know, there aren’t a whole lot of people between California and Japan. The following diagram will illustrate (click on thumbnail to view).
>See, there are some islands, none of them big enough to show up on this map, and certainly, not a lot of people inhabiting said islands. Even Hawaii is relatively out of the way. All in all, I say there are approximately ten literate people directly located between California and Japan…on a good day.
>In other words, Timbaland just told us that he is respected by a small number of native island dwellers. Now there’s an accomplishment worthy of a top 40 hit!
>See, when you actually analyze the lyrics of pop songs, they are entertaining…because they are so freaking preposterous.
>That is all.
