Itt: post your ideas for a soyjak movie
- Thread starter Sneedman
- Start date
rapson industries .ltc
raymond "rapeson" william johnson
hitlet comes back from the dead
G
guestniggers
Guest
Chud gets excited
terrycrews
Well-known schlogga
Setting: Year 2030, the Great Reset and the Second Industrial Revolution have taken place. You finally eat the bugs living in the metaverse and it's still getting worse.
Main Antagonist: Klaus Schwab
The soyjaks should be enjoying the metaverse at first until they're persuaded by the protagonist to join their team
Main Antagonist: Klaus Schwab
The soyjaks should be enjoying the metaverse at first until they're persuaded by the protagonist to join their team
gem
irl slopjak
reposting this classic sharty soypocalypse 'pasta
>This fall....
>*BWAAAAAM*
>somethings brewing
>*BWAAAAAM*
>after 2 years of exodus from /qa/ to the sharty... something BIG happened...
>*BWAAAAAM*
>*red types on keyboard in green linux terminal, all sharty admins/jannies IP's along with faces appear*
>doll: "oh god..."
>*BWAAAAAM*
>now, with no home... or hope...
>*flashes to many sad soyteens on computers logging on to 404 soyjaks.party, kuz dies on his deathbed, doll cries while putting up a for sale sign, soot hangs his head in shame*
>one man... one CHUD...
>eminem: "NOW THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR ME..."
>*a large, buff silhouette appears fully shadowed behind an IBM Thinkpad X60 with Libreboot running GNU/Trisquel linux and typing sounds*
>*after typing for a bit, chud readjusts his glasses, with a shine*
>*its pans from chud smiling to the 4chan admin panel*
>Is about to SAVE not the sharty...
>*chud hovers delete /LGBT/ and renable /qa/
>but 4chan
>*chud clicks the button, total silence and trailer goes black.*
>*without me chorus starts up again*
>*trannies ACKing*
>*swaglord kills himself*
>*final shot is of hiromoot giving a sly grin, and reclining back in his chair*
>IN CINEMAS SEPTEMBER 11th, RATED G FOR GEMMY
>This fall....
>*BWAAAAAM*
>somethings brewing
>*BWAAAAAM*
>after 2 years of exodus from /qa/ to the sharty... something BIG happened...
>*BWAAAAAM*
>*red types on keyboard in green linux terminal, all sharty admins/jannies IP's along with faces appear*
>doll: "oh god..."
>*BWAAAAAM*
>now, with no home... or hope...
>*flashes to many sad soyteens on computers logging on to 404 soyjaks.party, kuz dies on his deathbed, doll cries while putting up a for sale sign, soot hangs his head in shame*
>one man... one CHUD...
>eminem: "NOW THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR ME..."
>*a large, buff silhouette appears fully shadowed behind an IBM Thinkpad X60 with Libreboot running GNU/Trisquel linux and typing sounds*
>*after typing for a bit, chud readjusts his glasses, with a shine*
>*its pans from chud smiling to the 4chan admin panel*
>Is about to SAVE not the sharty...
>*chud hovers delete /LGBT/ and renable /qa/
>but 4chan
>*chud clicks the button, total silence and trailer goes black.*
>*without me chorus starts up again*
>*trannies ACKing*
>*swaglord kills himself*
>*final shot is of hiromoot giving a sly grin, and reclining back in his chair*
>IN CINEMAS SEPTEMBER 11th, RATED G FOR GEMMY
XXX_SKIBIDISIGMA_XXX
[#ffe70d] My style is ridiculous!
It will be a Miss Circle x Froot porno
FartmingerFuckwadCheeseSte
"Oh no, I'm having a fart attack."
Plot Outline: It's a soyjak multiverse story on the same level as Infinity War and Endgame o algo. Emperor Brimstone has sent out glowies and other henchmen to destroy the Gemiverse and Gapejak a regular ol' soyjak has to become the chosen one in order to save the world o algo.
Cast/Voice Actors:
Gapejak - Hugh Jackman (think of Flushed Away) or Chris Pratt (think of Lego Movie)
'plierjak - Mark Fischbach
Cobson - David Bowie
Swede/Impjak - Stellan Skarsgård
Chudjak - Josh Saunders (KingCobraJFS)
Smugjak - Lewis Lovhaug (Linkara)
Troonjak - Jon Heder
Feraljak - Jack Nicholson
Incredibly Gassy - Patrick Warburton or George Lowe
Amerimutt - Zach Hadel (but he's doing the "Compressed Fat Guy" voice)
Gigachad - JB Blanc or Sam Elliott
Glowie #1 - Harrison Ford
Glowie #2 - Nick Offerman
Glowie #3 - Patrick Warburton (again)
Glowie #4 - Rick Hunter
David Thoughie - James Urbaniak
Friedrich Nietzsche - Dave Willis
Karl Marx - Gilbert Gottfried
Stephen Hawking - Tom Kenny
Michael Cera - Jesse Eisenberg
Jesse Eisenberg - Michael Cera
The Villains - Phil Cornwell and Mads Mikkelsen
Captain Coal - Stefán Karl Stefánsson (doing a pirate voice)
Emperor Brimstone - Ian McDiarmid
Kuz - John Malkovich
Max - Uncredited homeless russian guy
Doll - Doll's voice but pitched down extremely low that Whales can hear him
Froot - Microsoft Mike
Lee Goldson - Andy Samberg
Don Turtelli - Jeff Bennett
3D Faces Modelled after:
Gapejak - Bernd Schmidt
'plierjak - Mark Edward Fischbach
Swede/Impjak - Bernd Schmidt
Feraljak - Seán William McLoughlin (Jacksepticeye)
Smugjak - Jonah Hill
Cobson - Jobe Smith
Chudjak - Patrick Crusius
Troonjak - Bernd Schmidt
Incredibly Gassy - Bernd Schmidt
Gigachad - Ernest Khalimov
Glowie - Mark Edward Fischbach
Captain Coal - Seán William McLoughlin (Jacksepticeye)
Kuz - Eduardo Foltz
Doll - Seán William McLoughlin (Jacksepticeye)
Froot - Wojak
Lee Goldson - Lee Goldson
Don Turtelli - Howard Hughes
Soundtrack:
Hank Green and The Perfect Strangers - I Fucking Love Science
The Dandy Warhols - I Am a Scientist
Soul Coughing - So Far I Have Not Found The Science
Thomas Dolby - She Blinded Me With Science
Oingo Boingo - Weird Science
Falling in Reverse - Game Over
Frank Sinatra - Downtown
The Beach Boys - Caroline, Oh
Roy Orbison - Working for the Man
Roy Orbison - It's Over
Original Composition by/Composers: Joe Jeremiah, Skrillex, Jon Brion
Cast/Voice Actors:
Gapejak - Hugh Jackman (think of Flushed Away) or Chris Pratt (think of Lego Movie)
'plierjak - Mark Fischbach
Cobson - David Bowie
Swede/Impjak - Stellan Skarsgård
Chudjak - Josh Saunders (KingCobraJFS)
Smugjak - Lewis Lovhaug (Linkara)
Troonjak - Jon Heder
Feraljak - Jack Nicholson
Incredibly Gassy - Patrick Warburton or George Lowe
Amerimutt - Zach Hadel (but he's doing the "Compressed Fat Guy" voice)
Gigachad - JB Blanc or Sam Elliott
Glowie #1 - Harrison Ford
Glowie #2 - Nick Offerman
Glowie #3 - Patrick Warburton (again)
Glowie #4 - Rick Hunter
David Thoughie - James Urbaniak
Friedrich Nietzsche - Dave Willis
Karl Marx - Gilbert Gottfried
Stephen Hawking - Tom Kenny
Michael Cera - Jesse Eisenberg
Jesse Eisenberg - Michael Cera
The Villains - Phil Cornwell and Mads Mikkelsen
Captain Coal - Stefán Karl Stefánsson (doing a pirate voice)
Emperor Brimstone - Ian McDiarmid
Kuz - John Malkovich
Max - Uncredited homeless russian guy
Doll - Doll's voice but pitched down extremely low that Whales can hear him
Froot - Microsoft Mike
Lee Goldson - Andy Samberg
Don Turtelli - Jeff Bennett
3D Faces Modelled after:
Gapejak - Bernd Schmidt
'plierjak - Mark Edward Fischbach
Swede/Impjak - Bernd Schmidt
Feraljak - Seán William McLoughlin (Jacksepticeye)
Smugjak - Jonah Hill
Cobson - Jobe Smith
Chudjak - Patrick Crusius
Troonjak - Bernd Schmidt
Incredibly Gassy - Bernd Schmidt
Gigachad - Ernest Khalimov
Glowie - Mark Edward Fischbach
Captain Coal - Seán William McLoughlin (Jacksepticeye)
Kuz - Eduardo Foltz
Doll - Seán William McLoughlin (Jacksepticeye)
Froot - Wojak
Lee Goldson - Lee Goldson
Don Turtelli - Howard Hughes
Soundtrack:
Hank Green and The Perfect Strangers - I Fucking Love Science
The Dandy Warhols - I Am a Scientist
Soul Coughing - So Far I Have Not Found The Science
Thomas Dolby - She Blinded Me With Science
Oingo Boingo - Weird Science
Falling in Reverse - Game Over
Frank Sinatra - Downtown
The Beach Boys - Caroline, Oh
Roy Orbison - Working for the Man
Roy Orbison - It's Over
Original Composition by/Composers: Joe Jeremiah, Skrillex, Jon Brion
Last edited:
Plajer Sojdżekowski
2024 oldGOD
Where Pepe? He would be geeeeeging at every soyjak's little mistake.
anglo_bvll
2024 oldGOD
Jartycuck gooning to soytan for 2 hours
Yiaagwababy or whatever
AKA Hackerman88 AKA footjob
>I... AM 'PLIER!
Gem Control
To Major Cob
>*Why Can't We Be Gems starts playing*
THIS SUMMER TWO UNLIKELY FRIENDS ARE ABOUT TO GET A WHOLE LOT CLOSER
>*Cut to scene in a school classroom*
>Feraljak: Why don't you go and EAT THE BUGS! HA!
>Cobson: I will as soon as you have sex with dat BBC, dusty coal!
>*Both stick their tongue at each other*
TWO RIVALS, FORCED TO WORK TOGETHER AS ONE
>*Teacher walks into the classroom*
>Teacher: Feraljak, Cobson, you are both to work together on the school science fair!
>Feraljak and Cobson: NOO000000000!!!!!!
AND ALTHOUGH THEY MAY HATE EACH OTHER
>Feraljak: We should make the project about proving eating the bugs is better for you than BBC!
>Cobson: Screw you, coal! How about we make the project on how feraltroons lost!
>Feraljak: You will never be a real gem, freak!
>Cobson: Meds and BBC, now!
>*Feraljak and Cobson repeat those two lines louder and louder while slowly getting closer to each other's faces*
IN THE END, THEY'RE ONE IN THE SAME
>Feraljak: Why don't we do a project on the benefits of wearing the mask!
>Cobson: That's actually not a bad idea, Feral.
>*Small montage of them doing the project and bonding*
IN A MOVIE EXPERIENCE, YOU'LL NEVER FORGET
>Cobson: You know Feraljak, I actually had a lot of fun doing this with you...
>Feraljak: Yeah I guess, you're pretty cool, for a shit tier wojack... heh...
>*Feraljak and Cobson slowly start to hold hands*
>*Both of them almost kiss before screen cuts to black*
>*Movie title fades in*
THIS SUMMER TWO UNLIKELY FRIENDS ARE ABOUT TO GET A WHOLE LOT CLOSER
>*Cut to scene in a school classroom*
>Feraljak: Why don't you go and EAT THE BUGS! HA!
>Cobson: I will as soon as you have sex with dat BBC, dusty coal!
>*Both stick their tongue at each other*
TWO RIVALS, FORCED TO WORK TOGETHER AS ONE
>*Teacher walks into the classroom*
>Teacher: Feraljak, Cobson, you are both to work together on the school science fair!
>Feraljak and Cobson: NOO000000000!!!!!!
AND ALTHOUGH THEY MAY HATE EACH OTHER
>Feraljak: We should make the project about proving eating the bugs is better for you than BBC!
>Cobson: Screw you, coal! How about we make the project on how feraltroons lost!
>Feraljak: You will never be a real gem, freak!
>Cobson: Meds and BBC, now!
>*Feraljak and Cobson repeat those two lines louder and louder while slowly getting closer to each other's faces*
IN THE END, THEY'RE ONE IN THE SAME
>Feraljak: Why don't we do a project on the benefits of wearing the mask!
>Cobson: That's actually not a bad idea, Feral.
>*Small montage of them doing the project and bonding*
IN A MOVIE EXPERIENCE, YOU'LL NEVER FORGET
>Cobson: You know Feraljak, I actually had a lot of fun doing this with you...
>Feraljak: Yeah I guess, you're pretty cool, for a shit tier wojack... heh...
>*Feraljak and Cobson slowly start to hold hands*
>*Both of them almost kiss before screen cuts to black*
>*Movie title fades in*
Detective chud tries to solve a savage rape and murder, but grows frustrated with all local residents because they have no concept of the seriousness of the situation because they watched too many marvel movies. In fact, the medical examiner impish was reported as saying "well that just happened" upon arrival at the crime scene. The plot thickens when chud finds out that commissioner Cobson's brother has recently escaped from the supermax prison in north Korea...
