DonutHole
Grand Sage of Pork [#107C10] LOVER
*sigh*
I guess its time huh?
I've been dreading this announcement, but a recent personal tragedy has lowered my inhibition. I haven't been entirely honest with you.
I am.... a Female to Male transgender man.
I first noticed I was different from the other girls in that I played sports, said profanities, fought, lifted and had more male interests like weapons and the like. I never wanted to wear dresses, makeup or talk about boys/celebrities/gossip/whatever. It just didn't feel like me, but as I was living in a conservative town at the time, all I could do was live a lie once my parents pressured me to act more feminine. Those were the worst years of my life and I made multiple attempts on my own life. It was hell and I wore a mask for so long that I suffered a mental break. All my interests, friends and boyfriend were just pretend. The worst day of my life was when I had sex with my boyfriend at the time. I felt bad for him as he said "whats wrong" when he saw me crying. I had tricked him and made him believe I had loved him, when I was just using him to seem more normal. I was tricking myself in that moment as well. I forced myself to have sex with him. I raped myself just to keep my facade. I was wasting my life appeasing those around me instead of living for myself.
So I ran away from home. In order to be free to express myself. To finally live for myself. To finally do the things that I want to do instead of wasting my time conforming to outdated gender norms. It was hard, but in a different way. A sweet way. I struggled and fought FOR myself, not against myself. It was rewarding. Eventually, I came across soyjak.party and then the shlog. And here I am.
I don't have long to live, so I thought I'd just get that out there. I hope you can continue to see me as just "one of the boys" and accept me for who I am.
- Helplessly yours, DonutHole
I guess its time huh?
I've been dreading this announcement, but a recent personal tragedy has lowered my inhibition. I haven't been entirely honest with you.
I am.... a Female to Male transgender man.
I first noticed I was different from the other girls in that I played sports, said profanities, fought, lifted and had more male interests like weapons and the like. I never wanted to wear dresses, makeup or talk about boys/celebrities/gossip/whatever. It just didn't feel like me, but as I was living in a conservative town at the time, all I could do was live a lie once my parents pressured me to act more feminine. Those were the worst years of my life and I made multiple attempts on my own life. It was hell and I wore a mask for so long that I suffered a mental break. All my interests, friends and boyfriend were just pretend. The worst day of my life was when I had sex with my boyfriend at the time. I felt bad for him as he said "whats wrong" when he saw me crying. I had tricked him and made him believe I had loved him, when I was just using him to seem more normal. I was tricking myself in that moment as well. I forced myself to have sex with him. I raped myself just to keep my facade. I was wasting my life appeasing those around me instead of living for myself.
So I ran away from home. In order to be free to express myself. To finally live for myself. To finally do the things that I want to do instead of wasting my time conforming to outdated gender norms. It was hard, but in a different way. A sweet way. I struggled and fought FOR myself, not against myself. It was rewarding. Eventually, I came across soyjak.party and then the shlog. And here I am.
I don't have long to live, so I thought I'd just get that out there. I hope you can continue to see me as just "one of the boys" and accept me for who I am.
- Helplessly yours, DonutHole
