Boomer gem general

baqqrih said:
I'm not sure that's how He walked on the water. Maybe it's a miracle we didn't hear about. If it did happen, He'll tell us when we're with Him in the heavens.

Amen. Google search. Enchilada recipe recipe Enchilada recipe Margaret how do you turn the voice thing off it isn't turning off hey Google turn off Siri Siri hey Siri turn off voice control Margaret come here I need to shut this thing off what is it I need to shut this thing off it keeps making words when I talk okay give it here alright thank you
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Jesus could probably breath under water. He literally has everything.

Also rate each boomer comic here. My favorite one is about Tooth Fairy.
 
NiggerRigger said:
Jesus could probably breath under water. He literally has everything.

Also rate each boomer comic here. My favorite one is about Tooth Fairy.
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My favorite one is the one with the rabbits walking down the sidewalk where one of them says "like".
 
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@baqqrih when did this happen in the bible?
 
baqqrih said:
My favorite one is the one with the rabbits walking down the sidewalk where one of them says "like".
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too on the nose and unfunny. It would be gemmy if the one on his phone fished a physical like icon out of his pocket without looking away from the phone and threw it at the rabbit to communicate he agreed.
 
@baqqrih Sorry to derail but are Satan, Lucifer, the dragon and the serpent the same? I actually think The Bible is metaphorical as most religions are.
 
DonutHole said:
View attachment 58121
View attachment 58122

@baqqrih when did this happen in the bible?
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This miracle was Jesus' way of saying that shellfish were no longer a forbidden food under His covenant. In the short Gnostic Gospel of Crustacius, we hear a story that comes right after Jesus blessed Simon Peter with the plentiful catching of fish, where a group of crabs then wander close to their nets.
>Peter looked at the crustaceans curiously, and then to Jesus Christ, as the Christ walked into the water, His skin soon forming a shell around Him, and pincers forming in place of His limbs. Before the onlookers knew it, Christ became part-crab, and said "This is a form of my body, and for all of this blessed Covenant, you may feast on these creatures to remember me". As a shrimp then flopped out of Peter's fish-filled net, Christ, seeing this, went deeper into the water, under it, and emerged out of it soon after, to the amazement of Peter, James, and John, and a large crowd that had gathered around the great sight, as part-shrimp. "So too can you eat shrimp as well, I guess, if you really want to. In fact, go ahead and just eat any shellfish, fine by me". And so, Jesus taught His followers that shellfish were no longer forbidden.
DonutHole said:
@baqqrih will shrimps and crabs go to heaven?
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In seriousness, I can only really say "maybe". We don't know for certain. They weren't made in the image of God, unlike humans, so they aren't capable of spirituality, but the New Earth could certainly have animals on it, if God wills it to be. We really will just have to see for ourselves.
 
baqqrih said:
This miracle was Jesus' way of saying that shellfish were no longer a forbidden food under His covenant. In the short Gnostic Gospel of Crustacius, we hear a story that comes right after Jesus blessed Simon Peter with the plentiful catching of fish, where a group of crabs then wander close to their nets.
>Peter looked at the crustaceans curiously, and then to Jesus Christ, as the Christ walked into the water, His skin soon forming a shell around Him, and pincers forming in place of His limbs. Before the onlookers knew it, Christ became part-crab, and said "This is a form of my body, and for all of this blessed Covenant, you may feast on these creatures to remember me". As a shrimp then flopped out of Peter's fish-filled net, Christ, seeing this, went deeper into the water, under it, and emerged out of it soon after, to the amazement of Peter, James, and John, and a large crowd that had gathered around the great sight, as part-shrimp. "So too can you eat shrimp as well, I guess, if you really want to. In fact, go ahead and just eat any shellfish, fine by me". And so, Jesus taught His followers that shellfish were no longer forbidden.

In seriousness, I can only really say "maybe". We don't know for certain. They weren't made in the image of God, unlike humans, so they aren't capable of spirituality, but the New Earth could certainly have animals on it, if God wills it to be. We really will just have to see for ourselves.
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How? They are untainted creatures and do much more service to this world than your average soyboy or tranny. They WILL go to Heaven. Also I don't care about some deep intellectual Christians shit Heaven is in the skies and Hell is under earth and there's fire.
 
NiggerRigger said:
How? They are untainted creatures and do much more service to this world than your average soyboy or tranny. They WILL go to Heaven. Also I don't care about some deep intellectual Christians shit Heaven is in the skies and Hell is under earth and there's fire.
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Why didnt god make the bible more clearer so there wouldnt be so much discourse on which lines are totally literal and which lines are just metaphors. Seems kind of short sighted.
 
DonutHole said:
Why didnt god make the bible more clearer so there wouldnt be so much discourse on which lines are totally literal and which lines are just metaphors. Seems kind of short sighted.
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God wants you to think and I also think the book is a metaphor and so are most religions.
 
NiggerRigger said:
How? They are untainted creatures and do much more service to this world than your average soyboy or tranny. They WILL go to Heaven. Also I don't care about some deep intellectual Christians shit Heaven is in the skies and Hell is under earth and there's fire.
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Well, really there is no indication of whether or not they will be with us in salvation, that's why I simply leave it to a "maybe". It isn't like there's anything we can try and figure out further from our own, imperfect, human judgement, so that's why I just leave these things for God to decide instead of trying to rule them one way or another with human logic.
 
NiggerRigger said:
How? They are untainted creatures and do much more service to this world than your average soyboy or tranny. They WILL go to Heaven. Also I don't care about some deep intellectual Christians shit Heaven is in the skies and Hell is under earth and there's fire.
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Because god hates them.
 
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